While trying to think up themes for my weekly token non-music post, I go on forums. I spend far too much time on forums, if I'm honest.
After coming up with the idea for "The WTF Files", which was originally going to be me bitching about bands I don't like, I realised there was a whole can of WTF just waiting to be opened in this particular corner of online culture.
I've noticed over the years that certain forum posters, on a variety of boards, are not there to take part in the discussion. They are there to pleasure themselves. They think up ever more elaborate, or simple ruses, to get others to share stories about their strange obsessions. For strictly information purposes only, I'm going to list a few of these. No usernames or forums themselves will be implicated, but you might find yourself recognising one or two.
1. The Piss Fetishist Sorry for the foul language, but there's no better word for it. This person tries to get others to post stories about wetting their pants. I think it's a he, and he prefers male pant-wetting stories. He has at least five IDs on one forum alone, which are traceable through their similarity and use of the same bland questions about radios and printing to cover his tracks. He also likes to post stories involving policemen and footballers being caught short, or having their dirty underwear exposed. He has a side interest in socks that he finds hard to hide.
2. The School Tie Perv Known on at least two forums, this individual posts endless threads about school ties, and how to wear them. Worryingly, this extends to the manner in which young and underage actors in TV shows such as Waterloo Road and Eastenders wear theirs. He also likes to talk about other school uniform items, football shirts worn by schoolboys, and tracksuits, particularly worn by young men. He is seriously creepy and confessed to having a restraining order against him.
3. The Fart Fantasiser Pops up on several forums posting stories about farting, and tries to get others to do likewise. Usually, they involve a young female office worker who has embarrassed herself at work, or a wife who is disgusted by her husband farting in bed. They are really quite shoddy and post identical stories on different forums.
4. The Knicker Sniffer Obsessed with women's underwear. Has an imaginary girlfriend who may or may not be a TV weathergirl, whom he allegedly buys the underwear for, thus giving him an excuse to ask about it. He appears to have an imaginary friend who always pops up to agree with him and defend him.
I came across Oh Land quite recently on Myspace. There is quite a crop of current Scandinavian bands, from Sweden especially, who I have been following, but Oh Land stands out at the moment.
According to her Twitter, she is on her way to England. As far as I know, she hasn't got any gigs planned here. Who is she working with then? Or is she just here for a holiday? Who knows.
Oh Land, real name Nanna Oland Fabricius, is due to release her second album in August, her first for Sony. Her first, Fauna, was released on Fake Diamond to excellent reviews. In true RWL style, here's why she is worth listening to in five points:
1. She grew up in a family of classical musicians and was not encouraged to listen to modern pop music. The only band she was permitted to hear was the Beatles. Later, she discovered pop music through a Bjork album that she bought for herself. All of these things come through in Oh Land's music, from the Beatles' ear for a pop tune, the subtlety and delicacy of chamber music and the organic-electronic approach of Bjork.
2. She trained for a long period as a ballet dancer, until a back injury forced her to retire. This part of her life informs a lot of her lyrics, both explicitly (in Break the Chain) and more subtly (she has another song called Audition Day).
3. Fauna was mainly recorded by Nanna herself, playing various instruments including keyboards, guitar and orchestral instruments. She got some help with vocals on tracks like Heavy Eyes, which has also been remixed by Trentemoller. Her second album apparently contains more collaborations with as-yet unknown musicians. It is said to have a dancier feel, so more remixes might be in the pipeline.
4. Her live show is very theatrical, making use of costumes and projections. Her videos are also dramatic, without being "wacky". (Take note, Lady Gaga).
5. Her sound is all hers, but some useful pointers are: CocoRosie (without so much of the self-conscious weirdness), Bjork (some vocal stylings, electronic/acoustic crossover) White Hinterland (soul influence, electronic sounds and textures.
Yes, I know. There is nothing remotely glamorous or stylish about violence. I also know that if Anthony Burgess's characters inhabited our world and not the world of the Korova Milk Bar, they would be snotty-nosed, tracksuit-wearing hoodies and unsightly as well as a menace.
The classic Clockwork Orange look is more to do with Stanley Kubrick and his design team than Burgess's writing, but there are similar themes - for instance, the all-white look and the single false eyelash do not appear in the novel.
To grab yourself a bit of droog style: monochrome, old-fashioned accessories such as braces and hats, flip horrorshow boots for kicking. I'd leave the codpieces out though.
Cornelia Parker's latest exhibition at the Baltic Gallery in Newcastle features this new piece: the constituent instruments of a brass band, flattened by an industrial press and suspended in a dim lamplit room for inspection.
In a video interview for the Guardian, Cornelia explains how she liked the idea of wind instruments "exhaling" and being flat and "out of puff".
There is something almost comical about the installation, and Cornelia took inspiration from a Charlie Chaplin film where he accidentally flattens a fob watch in a press. However, for me, there is also something sad lurking under the surface, I think. The instruments make me think of colliery bands and how that part of our culture has been lost and "flattened".
Other works in the exhibition include wire tracery nets made from deconstituted bullets and ominous polished Colt gun cutouts. It runs until September.
It has come to my attention that most of my music posts (in fact, most of my posts) have concerned female musicians, or female-fronted bands: CocoRosie, Dum Dum Girls, HTDA, Tennis - this is partly due to the fact that there ARE lots of female musicians around at the moment to talk about, and the fact that a lot of music I like right now features women singing or playing, or both. This is not in itself a bad thing, and will form part of a future post I've got planned.
Despite my rant about lad-rock the week before last, I do actually have a lot of time for male musicians. In the interest of gender equity, and to catch up on some interesting musical bits and pieces I didn't get round to posting about while they were super-topical, here is a round-up of things to do with Marvellous Men.
LA noise-creators HEALTH have been rather busy of late, promoting their DISCO2 remix album. Stereogum has a selection of tracks from the album proper and the bonus disc for your listening pleasure here. A little while ago, the project's sole new track, USA Boys appeared, complete with this nihilistic, yet very sexy video that brings to mind the aesthetic of early NIN. Apparently, it was recorded in Trent Reznor's studio. Warning, the video is definitely NSFW.
The latest Twilight soundtrack album was only supposed to be online for 24 hours back at the start of the month, but tracks can now be found all over the internet. One of the most talked-about songs on a surprisingly good soundtrack was The Line, the return of Battles. Unusually for a Battles track, it features something very close to a sung vocal from Tyondai, although suitably distorted. The song itself is one of the most accessible Battles tracks, with a simple rhythm and a surprising Cossack influence towards the end.
I can't remember where I first heard about My Violaine Morning, but I've been listening to them quite a lot lately. They play the sort of dense, dreamy post-rockish noise, sometimes with vocals, that's very now at the moment, and my favourite kind of music. The band has been together since 2004, and their last release was in March. They are from Indonesia and led by Roni Tresnawan Smith. Their Myspace is here.
Now, some tour news: Godspeed You! Black Emperor are touring again in Europe in December, following on from their ATP curation, and they're playing in Manchester! Hopefully I shall be there, and will be able to report back on what is sure to be a mind-blowing gig. Let's hope there's a new album on the way, too.
Also touring are Dillinger Escape Plan. They hit the North in October, and should also give us a great show, probably blowing our eardrums as well as our minds.
I wholeheartedly agree with FUC51's antipathy to my adopted home city's frustratingly backward-looking musical culture, and there's no way I'm going to be anywhere near Platt Fields when Ian Brown plays. The Madchester-was-over-20-years-ago sentiments have somehow got themsleves mixed up in my head with something I was half-planning to write about why I hate Kasabian so much. Please keep reading, this does make sense, or will eventually.
So, Kasabian. Fairly popular, from Leicester like my Grandma. Why do I hate thee so much? Is it the fact that you were once described as having experimental leanings and being influenced by electronica, when in fact you are a dull indie band with a keyboardist? Is it something to do with your singer's voice? Someone hit it on the head when they described you as "lad rock". Lad rock, quite simply, needs to go away. Not die or anything painful like that, just leave. Quietly.
By lad rock, I mean absolutely the sort of stadium-filling, unadventurous stuff that will be blasting out of Platt Fields next week. Something that may have been quite interesting when it first started, but stagnated into a formula all too quickly. The "male aged 19-40" demographic's equivalent to Celine Dion: competent yet bland.
Lad rock is never innovative; it does not evolve. It looks backwards for inspiration from a preset selection of influences, dating mainly from the 1960s. It worships its heroes and rarely acknowledges new talents. Most irritatingly, it seems to long for a simpler time when people knew their places. It ignores the contributions of female musicians and all musicians outside of a tiny handful of genres. It looks to its elders for approval, despite its protestations of rebellion, and its elders love the attention. It is anti-progress, anti-intellectual and anti-diversity.
Going on what the media says, Manchester is full of it, although from here in the city itself, I see a huge and flourishing live scene which encourages all kinds of musical innovation. If only it could shed its OasisSmithsRosesMondaysNewOrder ball and chain.
This hasn't made a lot of sense, and it's not something I'm going to go back to often, if at all. It's just something that needed saying. Again.
This picture of Juliana comes from the cover art of her 1994 album, Only Everything. This is the look I spent most of my latter teen years trying for. It's an easy enough look to pull off; the transatlantic indie kid style works for boys and girls, too. It's come-as-you-are in the clothes department, with a little makeup and a great haircut that looks as if you're not trying. (Makeup optional for boys). Juliana's style will always resonate with me because it was this album art that helped to show me that image isn't about labels (although they're nice), following trends, or doG forbid, grooming. More often, it's about standing out and being a little different, and sometimes it can be as simple as being yourself.
As this blog is partly a fulfillment of my thwarted desire to write articles for a teenage magazine, I can't go round having posts of things I like every week without including the opposite.
So, here are some things I haven't liked this week.
1. Missing a Holy Fuck gig on Tuesday because I didn't realise they were playing.
2. Deciding to buy something from Republic (a pair of leggings, if you must know), then discovering said something has been express-discontinued in the space of a week.
3. Isis splitting up.
4. The fact that I have a Korg dealer practically on my doorstep, when I can't afford this lovely MicroKorg synth:
Forget the fact that if The Artful Dodger were here now, he'd be a snotty-nosed Adidas-clad hoodie. The Dodger of Dickens, even more so of the Lionel Bart musical, could well be the prototype for punks, rudeboys and tomboys everywhere.
Even fashion's House of Balmain has got in on the act this season, with four-figure skinnyfit tailcoats and ripped trousers.
The Dodger look works for boys and girls. The key Dodger piece is a jacket, something which suggests formality somewhere in its heritage, but is worn any way but formally. Waistocats, short trousers and a hat add to the look. A tall top hat might be pushing the boat out a bit far, but any other vaguely masculine hat, worn with both pride and attitude, will look the part.
A little playlist of new things I've been listening to and watching:
1. How To Destroy Angels - The Space In Between
This is not only a great second song from a scarily-prolific new project, it's an eerie, beautiful video too, if something this twisted can be beautiful in your world.
This video, directed by Rupert Sanders, looks to be part of a series. Will we find out the identity of the murderer? Is it Atticus? Is it the mystery blonde woman? Is it the man in the bathroom? The music shows much more menace and a harder edge than A Drowning, but still retains the dreamlike (or nightmarish) quality of the first song. You can hear the guitar riff from the third teaser video in here, too.
2. Crystal Castles - Celestica
No video for this. I've not been a fan of Crystal Castles in the past, but this slice of sweetly-voiced electro does something for me. I'm hoping that their new album will grow on me.
3. Emika - Double Edge
Emika is a German vocalist and producer who records on Ninja Tune. This is her second song, and I don't know much about her.
Glitchy, trippy dubstep with subtle, emotional vocals. The video is minimal and somewhat functional, and reminds me of a hostage video.
I blogged last week about How To Destroy Angels, the suspected new project from Trent Reznor and Mariqueen Maandig. It all got a bit previous - although I stated that they had owned up, that didn't happen until yesterday, when the band's first song, A Drowning, appeared on pitchfork.com. More on that in a minute. The few days before the reveal were a flurry of frenetic online angel hunting. The band - Trent, Mariqueen and Atticus Ross - stepped up their programme of teaser videos and enigmatic, faintly survival-horror-esque images. The players were revealed one by one, apart from a guitarist whose hands and arms were the only part of him displayed. This turned out to be Trent, who is being very coy in promotional pictures, either standing at the back with shades on or turning his back to the camera. So, the music. A Drowning is gentle but menacing, with a pulsing beat and dreamy piano motifs, interrupted by mournful synthesised brass and a scuzzy guitar lament towards the end. It's sung by Mariqueen, who shows herself to have a delicate, ethereal voice. It is a very controlled and polished performance. I love the song.
2. Shiba Inus The little dog that's big in Japan. Someone near me has one. What's there not to love?
3. I'm going to see CocoRosie the day after tomorrow. Watch this space for a review.
4. Old Vic and Bob sketches, specifically the Bra Men. I used to watch Vic and Bob, and I never remember seeing these superb comic creations.
